Prayer can feel strange sometimes. Let’s be honest — there are moments when it feels like you’re just talking to the ceiling. Every Christian wrestles with it, whether they’ve followed Jesus for two weeks or twenty years.

So when people ask, “How do I pray?” — they’re really asking, “How do I do something that feels unnatural?” That’s not a bad question. In fact, it’s the same question the disciples asked Jesus: “Lord, teach us to pray.” (Luke 11:1).

The good news? Scripture shows us where to begin. And it’s not with the right words or posture. Prayer starts with who, not what.

The Foundation: Who’s on the Other Side

Think about it — how you see the person on the other end of a conversation shapes everything about how you talk.

If you think of God as a harsh judge, you’ll come cautiously, maybe even fearfully. If you think of Him as distant, you may not come at all. But if you see Him as Scripture reveals Him — a compassionate Father who knows your weakness and loves you deeply (Psalm 103:8–14) — prayer changes from obligation to invitation.

Bold Confidence (Hebrews 4:14–16)

Hebrews 4 gives us a powerful picture:

“Since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” (Hebrews 4:14–16 NLT)

Why can we pray boldly? Because of who’s on the other side:

• Jesus is our High Priest. He stands in the gap between us and God — not once a year like Israel’s priests, but eternally. His sacrifice is perfect and complete.

• Jesus gets us. He faced loss, betrayal, temptation, and sorrow. He knows human weakness firsthand.

• Jesus offers mercy and grace. When we approach God, we’re not met with condemnation but compassion.

That’s why we pray with confidence. Not because we’ve earned the right words, but because Jesus has already opened the way.

Prayer as a Child, Not a Stranger

Imagine a child walking into their parent’s office. They don’t need perfect grammar or a formal introduction. They simply say, “Dad, I’m thirsty,” knowing their parent loves them and will respond.

That’s the posture of prayer. Boldness doesn’t mean entitlement; it means trust. We pray as children who know our Father loves us.

Practical Steps for Praying Boldly

So what does it look like to “start with who”? Here are five simple steps you can practice this week:

1. Name who God is. Begin prayer by remembering God as He reveals Himself in Scripture (Father, Shepherd, Refuge, Provider).

2. Be honest. Bring your real emotions — joy, anger, doubt, gratitude. He already knows your heart.

3. Pray boldly. Don’t hold back your requests out of shame. Ask big things, knowing He cares.

4. Respond to shame with truth. When lies tell you you’re not worthy, return to Scripture: you are God’s child (John 1:12).

5. Repeat. Prayer isn’t about perfection; it’s about relationship. Keep showing up.

Closing Encouragement

The breakthrough in prayer isn’t learning a formula — it’s remembering who’s on the other side. God is not distant. He is your Father, your High Priest, your source of mercy and grace.

So don’t overthink the “what.” Start with who. And let that confidence draw you closer to the God who loves you.